Formation Of Mental Objects

You might be wondering what is up with the strange title, well, according to thesaurus.com, it’s the definition of thought. I decided to get somewhat creative with it and I liked how stupid it sounds. So yeah, I guess you already know where this is going. For those of you who are like, “What is going on, what do you mean, where is this going?” Don’t worry bro, I got you. Previously on the Arantxa Weekly Blog Series (yes, that is what I’ve decided to call it as of now) I wrote a blog about all the things that came to my mind, forcing me to be vulnerable with my reader. Well, this blog is the continuation of that, so be prepared for some random stuff and stories narrated by yours truly. If you have not read that yet, I suggest you do before reading this. For those of you not in the IA, a project based program we take in my high school, we have to read these blogs out loud for feedback from the people in my class before this gets published, so, for my IA buds listening, if you have not read my previous article yet you are not a true homie. I appreciate your feedback though, love you the most. I personally have a love-hate relationship with the whole feedback thing though. I mean the feedback is really good and getting to hear other people read their stories out loud is cool, but when it comes the time for each person to read their blog out loud, especially when it’s your reading, it’s awkward as can be. But, that’s part of being vulnerable with the people around me, and I’ve been working on that a lot recently. So yeah that’s basically it for this intro, prepare for the awesomeness that is yet to come.

Right now I’m in this golf club near my house cuz my sister came for tennis practice and my mom is here watching her play so I decided to join in on the adventure. I used to hate coming here. Why you may ask? Because everyone, now let me repeat myself there, everyone from school comes here. Basically, I’ll be out here doing stupid things with my baby cousin like rolling down hills like a hot dog of some sort and some guy from my grade will walk by and stare at me like I have some sort of issue. I mean this doesn’t happen all the time, it’s not like I feel attacked every time I go. Like sometimes I’ll run into people I like, but the thing is, I’m usually too lazy to start a conversation and I’ll pretend to be busy. I’m not the best actress so I can come off as passive-agressive… sorry. So yeah, what I’m trying to say by all of that is that I’m really enjoying being here right now (no I’m not, I’m being sarcastic). I’ve said hi to about 7 people I’ve talked to once in my life and I’ve only been sitting here for an hour. As Holden, the main character from The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger would say, people always show up at the most uncomfortable moments.

I’m pretty sure something just got into my eye because it’s randomly burning and itching and it looks like I’m crying right now. The waiters don’t look concerned at all though, so at least I can say that everyone really cares for each other here. If you didn’t understand that last thing, I was being sarcastic. I don’t really know how to make things sound sarcastic through writing. Another thing, if you’re sitting there reading this or listening to me read this out loud, you may be wondering why I mentioned waiters if I’m at a golf club. This is no normal golf club, I mean it kind of is but saying that it’s not normal makes it more exciting so I’m sticking to it. So, this not-normal-at-all golf club has a restaurant in it. I know, I know, calm down I know you’re absolutely shook, but it’s true. So yeah that’s where I am right now. I honestly don’t know how I’m concentrating over all this noise, people tend to be loud at restaurants here, but that’s just one of the many perks of the way I concentrate. For those of you who don’t know and that were too lazy to read my other blog first, the reason why I mention the way I concentrate is because I believe I could have ADHD. According to Google, it’s “a chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness.” I don’t really think this is a chronic thing, I mean if you have a stomach ache and you google why it’ll probably tell you are pregnant even if you are a 7-year-old boy. I mean I’m not pregnant, a 7-year-old-boy, or have a stomach ache, that was a bad example. What I mean is, I love Google but it’s not always right. So yeah, it’s more of a theory, but a pretty good theory, trust me.

I’m now just going to talk about things you will hopefully find interesting. Yesterday I had to film this video interview for my Spanish class that was due today. My assigned partner had been absent for the whole entire week we had to film (he went to Chile) and was not answering any of my messages whatsoever. It literally got to the point where I DM’d him on Instagram. So yesterday he showed up to school and found me in the IA classroom. Which was a scary experience because I was watching a video and he came out of nowhere and said we had to film and I agreed. Anyway, what I’m trying to get to is that later that day I get a call from this dude from my grade that I’m not really friends with but have talked to a few times, he also happens to be my neighbor. So I answer and I’m like, “What’s up, why are you calling, and he’s like “Hey, I’m Here With Your Partner, Come So You Can Film”. Just so you know this neighbor guy had nothing to do with my video interview and I still have no idea why my partner was at his house on a Tuesday. Even though it all seemed kind of sketchy and I didn’t feel like going at all, the video was due the next day so I had to go.

Sorry to interrupt my train of thought, we are having a “digression” (I’m proud to say I learned vocab from Catcher). There’s this big TV in the restaurant I’m at and they’re playing this really strange documentary of a women’s rugby team and women’s empowerment and it’s making me laugh really hard because they’re playing suspense music while they throw around the ball. I don’t know why this is so funny to me but I’m going to go back to my story now.

So, I decided to go to my neighbor’s house and I show up and he’s like “Yeah I’m Home Alone Right Now” and I was like “Oh, Okay”. I wasn’t really okay though, I felt kind of uncomfortable. I mean I was somewhat okay cuz it wasn’t like I was about to die or get raped, but it was strange being the only girl. It was like everything my parents tell me to be careful about with guys was happening, which is kind of sexist of my parents but doesn’t stop them. I always argue with them about it though so that’s that. Anyway, there I was, at this guys house, no parents whatsoever. What did I do to avoid this discomfort you may be asking. Well, my answer is, I went straight for the dog. I already forgot his name, I think it was Martin or something, but he immediately became my savior. He was small and smelled gross but friends come in all different shapes and sizes. We actually ended up having a lot of fun when we filmed the video, I kept messing up the lines. The video turned out to be the worst ever by the way, so, I began trying to edit it so we could turn it in. This is when the story gets good. My partner had to go then, so I was left editing the video, at this guys house, alone (by alone I mean me and him). It was very awkward, to say the least, so I edited the video fast, which is what made the video worst and left. But here’s the thing, before I left he asked me if I wanted to stay longer so he didn’t have to stay alone and we could watch Netflix. Now just to clarify, I’m not the best of friends with this guy so I was like “No Sorry I Have A Lot Of Homework”. He was kind of insistent on trying to get me to stay but all I wanted to do was go home. This made the ride down the elevator so bad though, at least it was for me, probably not for him, he didn’t seem to care. The thing is he lives like on the twenty-first floor of his building, so the elevator ride lasted for hours. I finally got home after like three hours and “Hit The Sack” after finishing up some other homework.

To continue telling you things about my life, today I checked my grades for this science test I took last week and swore I had failed on. Somehow I got a 100% 7/7 on it. I literally went to take the test, not knowing anything about how to find moles or molarity or anything at all whatsoever, and that’s not even the worst part. My calculator ran out of battery like five minutes into the test and I started doing long division on the side of the test like an idiot for three hours trying to calculate the molar mass of like 0.5 ml or something. I had no idea what was going on. I honestly don’t know how in the world I got a seven. Ok, I mean, if I got a 4 on it, I would’ve been more like wow I’m a genius at guessing things, I’m so glad I didn’t fail. But a seven? Cmon that’s gotta be a mistake. I told my dad about it and he told me that there was no way I got a seven and that I should double check. I could really feel the parental support. I mean I got a seven without knowing anything, the last thing he could do was praise his Einstein of a daughter for pulling the best of trick shots. My mom thinks more like me though, she told me not to tell the science teacher anyway just in case it was a mistake so I can keep the seven. I have the best parents.

Yeah, so that’s it. This has officially become probably the longest blog I’ve written so far, which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. Now, I must take you to the best reflection of your entire life. In Dani’s words “get ready to live”. I just came back from the bathroom and re-read what I had written in the last sentence and I don’t know why I pronounced live like “laive” in my head like an Instagram live ya know. Get ready to “laive” guys. Writing these blogs make me the happiest ever. Whether it is writing about my strange way of concentrating, getting sevens on tests I was supposed to fail on, my creepy neighbor, my itchy eye, the waiters, my fantastic long division skills, my parents, etc. Talking about all these pointless things makes the blogs less like a homework assignment and more of a time for me to just sit down and think. I’ve been trying to do that more often and I’m feeling really good about it. These blogs help me become more vulnerable and express the way I feel about things and talk about life with no boundaries, allowing me to be myself. I also feel like through writing I’ve discovered new things about the way I concentrate. Kind of like a wabi-sabi thing. The concentration issue I’ve always had has allowed me to do this type of thing where I can just think and write and “digress”, one of the things Holden has taught me to enjoy. All I want to do right now is just write. This might’ve all been confusing to you but welcome to my brain. See you next time on the Arantxa Weekly Blog Series.

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